Wish I Knew

_______

I wish I knew
when life's breath buffets against your face
does it singularly maintain its clamp
so that you can't turn away
do you choke - does your jugular constrict?
Though it can't, yet it sounds possible
the rest of my thoughts persist
I am forced to admit to the
force of your logic
flawed as they might seem to me 

I wish I knew
the limp you walk around with
though you refuse to admit to the
broken kneecaps; I can see
- yet I don't
compensating for my lack of perceptivity
the depths of which the cut
has to be borne 

I wish I knew
the truth of your regurgitated
vomit - lies perhaps
I am choking on it - shoving it down
and yet I relish the thought
consuming the crap with such abandon
is it too late to stop? 

I wish you knew
I can take the blows
dealt hard as you nail them to my face
the building dissatisfaction of unanswered
questions I still can't shed its veil
and yet in your turn, you mock by constant
impassivity; assurances, wanting to understand
if only they made sense
you judge them by your logic
how can you then? 

I wish you knew
you would say you do
like so many times past and yet
you don't, even a mite proud
of not bending to
I am attracted - stubborn pride
yet your thorns prick into my flesh
how deep do they go
before pain finally kills my mind? 

I wish you knew
how hard, to drag out
what was freely given in the past
Others? Comparing though its wrong
can't put an end to it
wall keeps slamming into my face
do I need to tell how
it drips with blood
I guess not; I will be
but a memory - erased

© Luqman Lee /2002