I walk in, apprehensive
of the details. She's moved everything.
The little birds of emotions in their cages, are now
free; they're even nesting all over the place.
Flitting and flying about their business, they disorient me.
They are so uncontrollable
- they get in my face.
......... ......... .........Somehow, I get that a lot.
Wonder how that could be.
My old, familiar, books have been stacked
beneath the table. Some unknown titles are
on the shelves now. My eyes aren't that good - can't make them out.
I guess I'll have to read them out when I get close enough.
Oh. The shelves' been moved near the windows.
Beautiful really, when the morning ray slants in.
Makes everything golden and warm.
......... ......... .........When there's a sun, of course.
Other sunless days, the gloom just gets into
everything. Soaks up the gloom real quick. I would turn
to her, and have my nightmare stare back. Red eyed, scaly,
horned monster with bits of my heart falling off her lips.
A smile, a hand squeezing on mine, and
I'm reassured.
......... ......... .........Does that make me a little boy?
Needing her hand to lead me away, I just want to wrap myself up
with my tattered blanket and sit in a corner.
I can sit for ages just looking through the holes in the fabric.
......... ......... .........I can look and feel safe, all wrapped up.
Mmm . . . The bed is missing.
Guess I'll have to sleep on the floor now.
I'll miss the days on the bed though. Nice warm memories;
the scent, the rustle against my skin, the softness under my fingertips.
The morning and night stretches, rolling around, purring in my ears.
At least there's more room for other things with the bed gone.
We just have to sit on the floor more.
......... ......... .........Its a little hard and cold but I guess it's fine by her.
It all looks a little strange from my corner. It all feels unfamiliar and cold
with all the old things in new places. I keep knocking and breaking them;
they weren't there before. Things that I reach for instinctively, aren't there now.
Somehow that scares me. Makes me feel a little lost.
I've broken quite a bit; not all of them mine. I just want to demand, that
they be replaced or patched. I want them there again, in their new places,
so that I can take note of them this second time round.
Its not possible in most cases. In the end, I just want to get used to it;
to feel comfortable in there again.
......... ......... .........Just give me the time to.
© Luqman Lee /2002